another dream come true...

*check!*
By sheer chance and circumstance, I got invited to write a column for a very cool, brand, shiny-new filmcentric site called Germ Free Movies. The kind and trusting (and possibly drunk at the time ;) editor let me decide the direction I'd like to take the column, so I decided to go with what I know, and write about the kind of movies I love, from my non-traditional perspective.
It's not easy being out of step with the standard world view of your gender. And yet, I always have been. When I was little, it was easy and cute to call me a tomboy - though even then, the other tomboys teased me for being girly. Boys thought of me as one of them, until a certain age, and then they got confused and seem to have been since. I just never seemed to be in the right place on that fence. None of this surprises or seems weird to me, both of my parents were gender rebels too, but even in this amazing time of breaking all the old boundaries, I find myself constantly at odds with the world and it's idea of how, who, what I should be, based on secondary sex characteristics.

One of the most obvious places where I am at war (literally in some cases) with what the media seems to think of me is in my beloved world of film. I NEVER cared for Disney and it's Princesses*. As a tiny child, what I loved was wrestling, and Warner Bros. and animated films like 'The Point'. I was weaned on Westerns, cut my teeth on Monty Python and SNL and was allowed to watch ANYTHING I PLEASED by the time I was in school. My father took me to the theater to see Kentucky Fried Movie when I was 8, and to the Beverly Drive-In to see Texas Chainsaw Massacre when I was 9. That wonderfully terrifying few hours (it was a double feature with a bad Swedish slasher pic - Torso) is where my love of the actual making of films was born, especially my passion for SFX and art direction. We had a great biker babysitter once who would take us to the little theater in Wiggins, MS on Saturdays, cadge us a trashbag full of popcorn from his buddy who ran the place and let us take over the balcony for all day marathons of martial arts films (I will never forget the first time my tiny Orcen heart was captured and melted by Bruce Lee) By the time I was 10, I could probably act out the entirety of The Good, The Bad and The Ugly as a one-kid show. Alien, Apocalypse Now, Star Wars - these are the films that defined my idea of heroes.

I knew from day one that even if I WAS a damsel in distress, no one would be coming to rescue me, so I knew I had to be one of the heroes, and it was films (and books, and great films made of my books - like Watership Down) that taught me how. And as a (mostly ;) straight girl, I had the additional pleasure of completely crushing out on all these badass film heroes (and anti-heroes and even bad guys in a lot of cases - The Kurgan *sigh*) and so - even though this has made finding guys who really measure up to my ideals fairly difficult, I feel like it's good to have such clear standards. And I am happy to report, there are more real-life, badass Barbarian hero-types out there in the real world than one might imagine.

Even as an adult, I still have a tendency to feel like a 12 year old boy about romantic parts in otherwise good films (and most romantic movies in general). There are some actual chick flicks that I do love - but they MUST have a twist or 12, and happily-ever-afters seldom happen in them - because real women know that, one way or another, life just isn't like that. I still get a little embarrassed watching sex scenes in mixed company, and get pissed that so many otherwise potentially awesome miniseries (especially the historical ones that are all over the place now - The Tudors is the one that immediately COMES to mind. ugh.): have to have gratuitous, shiny, noisy sex scenes every 5 minutes to keep typical American audiences interested in a costume thing. Depressing.

I haven't seen Mama Mia. Or My Big Fat Greek Wedding, or Eat, Pray, Love. But I scrimped matinee $ and walked miles through LA pinewoods more than once to see Conan and Flash Gordon. I don't care to have wine with a bunch of gossipy birds then dress up like a Disco Queen and go to the theater in flock to dance along with Abba (though more power to you ladies who do!). But give me a good sci-fi/fantasy/action/WuXia debut, and I will dress accordingly (sfx included) and be among the first in line. And I don't want to be frikkin' Arwen or Eowyn or even Galadriel or a cute little hobbit or whatever, I want tusks, tattoos and terror - Lurtz is me!

So, my column here isn't just about movies. It's about the millions - maybe billions - of us who don't fit into neat little pink and blue boxes. And I am delighted to say that I know more than a few adorable, feminine, cute, girly and yet still completely badass ladies who are right there with me, as well as big tough guys who will TOTALLY melt into the moosh of Iron Giant or Dragon Hunters and blame allergies for the sniffles at the sad parts (don't worry lads, I won't rat you out - and I will snuggle up and watch Guy Ritchie/Tsui Hark/Misty movies with you nerds anytime.)

Thanks for reading, thanks for helping make another one of my dreams come true. Please check out my debut article in my new column: Bad Girls Guide to Good Film - it's a list of my grinchetty favoritest Xmas flicks - and let me know what you think. But I warn you, Bad Girl is a TROLL-KILLA. ;]

I very purposely chose this pic as the header for my virgin post for the column, not just for all the obvious reasons, *chuh!*, but because this woman is the Empress of brilliant, snarky, sexy movie nerd-dom AND badass real-girlness. (there are a lot of Queens - but only one Empress ;) As a film fan, nerdy toughchick and pinup artist, I've always admired her, both Cassandra (the real girl UNDER the Elvira suit AND a redhead. *ka-thump! ka-thump!*) and her truly fantastic creation, the Mistress of the Dark. I got to meet them both this summer. Yet another dream come true.

Count your Lovely Owls! ;)
-s

*One of the children I've cared for in recent years loves Princesses AND is a "Halloweenie" too, which is the nickname she and I came up with for people who like not only the holiday, but skulls and bugs and creepy things in general too. When she was about 5 she asked me one day who my favorite (Disney) Princess was and I gave it a thought and said "Malificent". I was really proud that her first counter was a solid, logical "But she's a Queen, not a Princess." I explained that to be a Queen, one has to be a Princess first (well, not in this shabby day and age ;) and so technically, she was. She agreed. She then said "But she's the bad guy." and I said "Yes, and she deserved what she got, but she could turn into a DRAGON." My charge was silent, considering and then clearly assented with a simple eyebrow raise and nod of 'Yep.' that you can't argue with that. Hers, by the way, was Ariel.